Off on an adventure

I bought myself a purse big enough to fit all the random shit I "need" and, more importantly, three paperbacks. I could probably get two or three more in there, but that would be getting a bit excessive, don't you think? It's only 11 days. I'll pace myself.


I waited in line a lot today

So many lines.

Half Price Books puts on a clearance sale every year at the state fairgrounds, so that was the first line. (That was a good line, since I came away with a bag full of books-- the other lines were not so good.) The rest of the day was spent at and trying to get to the Renaissance Festival. We waited for two hours trying to park, then we waited an hour for the shuttle from the parking lot to the festival (we could've walked it in ten minutes, but they turned us back and made us wait). Then it was wait in line for food, wait in line for drinks, wait in line for shows, wait in line for the bathroom.

There was a free wine tasting; that was good. (Had to wait in line for it, though.) And while we were eating, we found a bench by the stockade and watched the performers heckle the people in them. (Line for the food, but not the benches!)

I got a sunburn. (Not surprising; I was out in the sun for more than half an hour.)

Despite all the whining (and all the waiting in lines), it was a good way to spend a day off.

Writing prompt #1

We don't know what it is, exactly. How it works.

The quiet.

There's a strange resonance to it, like a tuning fork ringing at a frequency outside our range of hearing. Singing to a certain part of the brain. A very old part.

The part that is afraid of the dark.

Stuff and such

Well. I'm training for the new position at [Retail Overlord], which is kind-of-sort-of ironic. I closed in the new position (by myself) Friday and Saturday, then opened in the new position (by myself) Sunday and Monday, and then my first training day for the new position was Tuesday. So that tells you how that's working, I suppose.

On account of that's prettymuch all I have to talk about and I'm trying to get back into this blogging thing and actually post stuff, I suppose I'll share another doodle:

It's my "I'm tired of this shit" cowboy. I also did my first (and, if I have any sense, last) zentangle the other day. There was nothing Zen about my approach to that tangle. It turned out fairly pretty and all that, but it wasn't relaxing or enjoyable like drawing normally is; all I came away with was a hand cramp. The cowboy was much more fun.
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But I was ready to upload...

Is anybody else having trouble with

I tried to log in before work to post my last chapter of Sin & Vice, but all I got was "503 service unavailable." I tried again just now, and it's the same. Also tried on my phone... same. I can read fics just fine (and thank goodness for that, because I've stopped bringing books for my breaks!), but it won't let me into my profile.

I'm just hoping it times out and I can get to posting again, but in the meantime: Anybody else having troubles with
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The weirdest Friday in a while

Well. Tomorrow is my first day off since May. You read that right. Between the two jobs, I hadn't had a day off since I started the writing job on June 1. I'm not setting an alarm tonight!

But I sat down to write about last Friday. (I need to get it out of my head.)

Friday was my last day at the writing job. I'm not sad it's over-- it was mostly reporting, which is something I did all through college to the point where I can safely say that it's not something I want to make a career out of-- but it was a really good job and I feel like there was a lot of miscommunications involved. I don't know if it was on my part or theirs. The short version is that they asked me to temp, they suggested I apply, I applied, I got a form email telling me they were looking at other candidates. (Which is fine; the part that rankled was that I was in the office every week for 20+ hours and I didn't get a "thanks anyway" or even a "hey, we got your application.") I know that there are steps to the process, that they can't talk to me about other candidates or whatever, but it would've been nice to know why I was contacted within half an hour when they needed a temp but I didn't even rate an interview for the job-- was it my resume? did I smell funny on some significant day? did I not jive with the team? What did I do? Or not do? Should I have gone in and pushed for the interview and asked questions constantly and made a nuisance of myself? (I'm a typical timid Minnesota' all that is completely against my nature. But I would've done it if I'd thought it would've helped.)

That's one of the reasons why I'm still at [Retail Overlord] even though I have my bachelor's. I hate, hate, hate filling out application, going to the interviews, selling my skills and putting myself out there like that only to get a thanks-but-no-thanks form denial without any real explanation.

Also, it's a contributing factor to my continuing single-ness. (Can't get hurt if I don't let him in! I win?) But that is another post entirely, I think...

Anyway. The frustration with it all on Friday was that I spent the morning getting things ready for the next person, organizing the article lists and all that. I already put together September's employee newsletter and October's larger one. I met with my supervisor in the morning to know what she wanted me to finish out for them. I hoped to get a sort of exit interview before I left, tell her what hard drive I was saving stuff to and all that, turn in my name badge, and ask her if there was anything I could've done to make myself a better candidate. She left for the weekend at lunch without more than a general sort of wave around the office to everybody.

I finished off, left my notes with the graphic designer (poor guy got stuck helping me out with a lot of stuff this summer), and went home for an hour before I had to go to [Retail Overlord]. I wasn't even an hour into my shift there when I was officially offered (and accepted) that promotion I mentioned, so now I'm getting paid to be the shit-catcher.

Weird day.

I'm actually looking forward to it. It will mean getting paid for things I was already doing. The best part was the reaction from coworkers, though. I got a hug from one of the cynical, everybody-is-trying-to-rob-us older ladies at the returns desk, and more than a few "thank God you got it"s from people who have been there just about as long as I have. It's gratifying to realize that people think I'm competent at something, even if it's just retail.

So that was Friday. Friday was a very weird day.

It's an odd feeling. On the one hand, it's very much the clichéd door-closes-window-opens scenario. The door on the writing job is definitely closed, and now I get to jump out the [Retail Overlord] window and see how that goes. It feels a lot like I'm shuffling sideways instead of moving ahead in the whole life-trajectory game.

But I have tomorrow off! A day to regroup. I'm taking my youngest two siblings out to lunch since they start school up again the week after next and this will probably be the last time in awhile that the three of us have time for anything. I'll probably buy a book or two, possibly see a movie with a friend. I hope it's sunny and I can get a walk around the lake in. And then I can come home and write.

I'm finding that things feel much more on-balance when I make time to write. I think, ideally, I'd live in some cabin in the woods somewhere, grow my own vegetables, build bookcases in the walls, and write. I have dozens of ideas for novels, and at least half a dozen of them could actually amount to something if I put time into them. (Of course, I don't have much time to put into them right now, and what time I do have to write I'm putting into fanfiction because it's lovely.)

Do you ever wish something crazy would happen? Something apocalyptic-crazy? Just for the sheer, complete change of it. I just watched the Fear of the Walking Dead premier (it definitely has potential!), and my parting thought with the episode was that I'd probably die early wondering what the hell was going on. But I still wish I didn't have so many mundane things to worry about. Yes, I get it-- "adult-ing" is all those mundane details rolled in with the option to dash off on a cruise just because. That doesn't mean I don't sometimes fantasize about outlasting Coupon Lady (the one with the crazy lipstick and the leggings, not the one with the bowl haircut) in a zombie takeover.
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I'm not nervous. Who's nervous?

I'm fine. Totally fine. Great, even.

Except that writing job-- the one that I'm kind of conflicted about, but was fantastic in that it paid more than twice as much as [Retail Overlord] even as a temp position-- is ending next Friday. And [Retail Overlord] just offered me a promotion, not a great promotion (because the next level is the one that has to catch all the shit and smile about it-- yay retail) but something I would have grabbed with both hands and happy-danced about a year ago. Instead, I told them I was floating my resume on a few communications jobs (which is true) but I hadn't heard back yet and I wouldn't want to take the promotion and then ditch them when I got a better offer.

Which I would. Bringing me back to my nerves.

Change is not my forte. It's not anybody's forte, and I know people much worse with change than I am, but that doesn't mean a little bit of change-aversion and anxiety isn't obnoxious. The thing I keep landing on is that I've worked at [Retail Overlord] for ten years next month. First of all, I have a degree and I should really be doing something that makes all the time and money I invested in it pay off. Second of all, ten years is a really long time to keep myself stuck in a not-ideal job (I won't lie and say that I don't like it; most days are fine and I've made friends I never would have if I hadn't been there this long).

The real anxiety comes from the part where I've been filling out applications, sending in my resume and tweaking the hell out of my professional digital portfolio, and I haven't even gotten any interviews. Hell, I didn't even get an interview when I applied for the job I'm temping in; I got a very nice form email explaining that they were looking at other candidates.

So anyway. Tonight sort of brought all the imminent change into focus. I'm looking for full-time employment instead of going back and forth through various part-time things. My boss knows I'm looking for other stuff, which doesn't actually mean anything but still adds to my nerves. And my bumper paycheck from that temp job is going away.

I'm fine.
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